Aunt kk visits

Last October, my one and only beloved sister moved to Seattle.  Everyone cried for days, because she's just so great.  Seattle is super far away, so visits are rare and difficult for her.  But she's home this week!  Let's start with a not-so-flattering photo of her, with Meredith and Matthew and my sweet mama's profile:

(Sorry Katie!)  Sunday evening we had lots of folks over to the Pierce Durham homestead for pizza and ice cream.  We sat around and talked and ate food.  Favorite activities of the Acree family.

Stuart with my mama and baby Canaan (Matt & Mere's wee one)



Little James (I suppose I shouldn't call him baby James anymore :( ) enjoying the taste of his mama's gardening shoes.



James continues to enjoy the shoe, while PPaw enjoys ice cream :)



Katie's boyfriend, Stephen, enjoying our newest furniture purchase (which we love!) and my 2nd smallest cousin, Gabe, enjoying James' box house.  Turns out, boys are never too old to play with boxes!



kk with Aunt Val!



Uncle Mark, my Mema Acree and my dad (PPaw) chatting and enjoying ice cream.



It is getting harder to get a photo of James just whenever I want - he is quite opinionated on whether he would prefer to sit still for a photo or get down and play (and continue tasting gardening shoes...)



Katie stayed the night at our place, and we went out for a walk the next morning before the week of thunderstorms started.  James has started walking a little part of the trail with me instead of riding in the stroller the whole way (he naps better if he gets to do this!).



Getting ready to slide down the swirly slide!





So brave, not scared at all!





Storytime with kk before she has to leave.  He chose a difficult Spanish book for her! :)  We miss you kk!

Photo bomb

Addendum: James at 16 months

I forgot some things when I wrote up James' 16 month post! I realized this morning when he was being super cute and doing all of his tricks.

James requests the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song by putting his fingers together. If you sing it, he does all of the motions all the way through and claps at the end!  Sometimes he does all the motions really fast and just sits, sucking his thumb and waiting for you to catch up and finish the song :).

James has been picking out books to read for months, but since he's been able to walk, he will pull his chosen book from the giant basket and carry it around, following you until you sit to read it to him.  Way cuter than him sitting at the basket fussing until you go over and pick up the book he wants.

He can point out his nose, ear, mouth and teeth, and claps in between each one for himself.  I was surprised when we tried it and he could do these four without any practice!  I think he's learned from reading books and meal times.  If we ask where his eye is, he always chooses his ear. So, now we're working on that one.

He totally comprehends hot/cold.  Whether we're outside and the weather is cold, or his food is hot or cold, or he sees my coffee cup and knows that it's hot... he verbalizes it and wants everyone to know!  For hot, he says "ha" then blows.  For cold, he says "brrrrrrr."

And here's a photo after his most recent hair trim (on his 16 month birthday) - done in the bathtub with both Stuart and I holding him still.  James doesn't love it, but he looks so handsome afterward :).

James: 16 months

Happy 16 months to my sweetest, most opinionated little buddy!  Expressing his opinions has definitely been the theme this past month (well, that and new tricks like WALKING)!

The biggest news, of course, is that James is now a full-fledged walker.  Just in the last week has he started to walk almost all of the time.  Though, when he's tired, sometimes he still drops to his knees and crawls.  My favorite thing about him walking is that it is SO much easier to just go outside and play!  Before walking, he mostly would sit in the stroller while I worked in the garden, but now he piddles around and picks dandelions and it is so fun.  We have spent up to 3 hours outside!



He has the sweetest personality, and it just keeps getting better!  He loves to give kisses and hugs and sign "I love you" (all of which he usually will do on command).  However, separation anxiety has really ramped up this past month.  He has started crying every time he goes down to the nursery in church... a few weeks ago, he cried the entire time (I know it's true, because I was right next door teaching the toddler Sunday school class).  It makes things like going to church and my Side by Side group (where we have childcare for a few hours of adult time of eating and chatting and Bible-studying) really pretty stressful.  I know that it is a developmental phase and an important time for James to learn independence and that he can trust me to always return to him, but I feel badly for those who have to take care of him while he just screams!  It's gotten so bad lately that even when Stuart comes home, James comes running to me because he is afraid I'm going to leave him.  I'm very much looking forward to moving past this phase.



His little opinions have become stronger - it mostly comes out at meal time when he would prefer to just eat fruit (any fruit) at every meal, every day.  But he also makes it clear which toy he wants to play with, when he wants to go outside, which book he wants to read, when he wants to wear a hat, and sometimes even when he is tired and wants to nap!  He even picked out his clothes the other day for my mom while I was at work - she had some pants laid out to put on him, but he went to his closet and started getting excited over his denim overalls.  He was quite proud when she pulled them down and dressed him in those instead!



He hasn't had a lot of new verbal words this month:
Baby (both sign and verbal)
Grapes (verbal)
Bless you (pronounced "shoo" - he did this twice after I sneezed the other day... hasn't done it since, but I am counting it!)

I think that puts his verbal word count up to 15ish.  He's also started making a clicking sound for duck... not quite a quack, but he definitely intends it to go with "duck!"



He is definitely in the middle of trying to drop from two naps to one... This has been the hardest nap transition yet!  When he dropped from three to two (around 7-8 months), he was really struggling for a few weeks, and then I just dropped one cold turkey for him, and he slept like an angel from then on.  This time around, it's much more complicated!  Some days he still wants two naps and acts like he is so tired at 9am (usually when he goes down for his first nap) and he will either not sleep at all, or he'll sleep up to 3 hours in a row!  Then it's just hit or miss whether he will want to nap again later in the day.  And some days he falls asleep in his carseat and/or is cranky at the end of the day and is acting so tired.  Other days he is content all day after just one long morning nap.  I have tried to extend the morning and put him down toward the middle of the day, in hopes that he will just take one long nap, but later in the day, and that has yet to work well.  It's so hit or miss, and it is very challenging to try and schedule anything from doctor's appointments to lunch dates or walking with a friend.  Hoping he figures it out soon...

Though, I should mention that he continues to sleep like a rockstar at night (7pm strict bedtime until 7-7:30am almost every morning), so I better not complain!



We have started to have to discipline James pretty regularly...  We are mostly going by the advice offered in Paul Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart.  We do not expect James to understand the concepts of obedience, honor and forgiveness, but we do want the vocabulary to be familiar to him and for his understanding to grow someday, and we recognize that ultimately the goal of discipline is not to change or shape behavior, but to reorient the heart.

The most challenging aspect for us right now is to decide what he is and is not allowed to do, and to be consistent to communicate those things clearly to James.  We do still want him to explore and be curious, so I don't tell him "no" just for making a mess (even if we just cleaned up) or playing in the dirt or anything else that is inconvenient for me.  We do tell him "no" and enforce anything that could be dangerous (playing with outlets/power cords, especially under Stuart's desk, and playing in the fireplace).  The other big thing is discipline during meal times.  This falls more under "honor" and teaching James in some subtle ways that the world does not revolve around him - he is expected to sign "please" and "thank you" - even when he's grumpy - and if he complains about what is offered, then he has to be polite in order to move on to the next course.  Since he grew out of that developmental stage where he learned about gravity, we've enforced a hard and fast rule of no throwing food - he gets disciplined for this, so as to teach him to honor others and how to behave appropriately (someday hopefully his heart for serving others by acting appropriately will follow), and told that he must obey this seemingly arbitrary rule that we have developed, so as to teach him that we were placed over him as his parents, and he is to respect our authority, even if he does not understand (of course I think this gets a little grey once he is an adult, but that's lightyears away, right??).

There seems to be lots of nuances and details to discipline, especially if you're trying to do it right and train your child's heart, not just change his behavior Pavlov-style.  I'm sure we will learn a lot in the next few decades about discipline (of course, this all being a shadow of how God disciplines His children, about which we have a lot to learn!).



We love our little guy and enjoy so much watching him grow!

Photo bomb

Block tasting, a favorite teething activity

A trip to the post office left James labeled by the postal workers as priority. I agree :)

Crazy morning hair (needs another trim!). Also his first tastes of a normal baked good made with egg - banana muffins. Trying to monitor the extent of his allergy. No hives this time, but possible itching and/or bellyache (hard to be sure when he can't tell us). We'll try again.

New baby, looking pretty sweet in its temporary little womb home.  Got to see (s)he swallowing during the ultrasound - very cool.

Impromptu dessert!  We almost never make dessert, but we wanted pie. Cherry!  Also my first time making crust without my mama's supervision.  Stuart said it was great.

Cutie James at lunchtime.

Snuggles on the couch after church on Sunday.

Life is so good these days!

SGO Tampa 2014

This past weekend, Stuart and I got to spend 5 days in Tampa, FL for the Society of Gynecological Oncologists' Conference on Women's Cancer.  It was 3 full days and 2 half days of conference sessions and research presentations for Stuart, and that same amount of time for me to lay around the pool, read, visit with friends who live in Tampa and explore the city!  Each day, Stuart would spend hours with important people (sober), and each evening I got to meet the same important people (after they've had a few drinks).  My job of impressing them and making Stuart look like someone they would want to have at their program was a lot easier ;).  Each evening, there was some sort of event that included lots free food and drinks and staying up really late.  Eventually it got late enough that we knew none of the important people would even remember if we were there or not, so we were lucky to sneak away and get to bed before midnight every night (festivities usually lasted until 3am or later...).

Stuart was post-call Friday morning when we left Raleigh/Durham and flew to Tampa (post-call means that he went in to work Thursday morning, worked all day and all night, then left work Friday morning and came straight to the airport).  The above picture demonstrates how he spent most of our Friday travels.  We had a direct flight to Tampa, hopped a shuttle to our hotel, checked in, and then Stuart took off for the Convention Center for the first part of the conference.

I met him around 5pm, after the Friday sessions finished.  It was a busy evening of networking and meeting lots of important people and hanging out with residents, fellows and attendings from UNC that we already knew.  We were just trying to decide where to go to dinner when one of Stuart's attendings pulled him aside and said "You NEVER pay for a drink or food at this conference.  Never.  There are too many drug reps available to do that for you!"  He had arranged for a rep to take us to dinner, but it turned out he had double booked.  So instead of accompanying us (which would have been terrible and awkward - who wants to have dinner with a drug rep??!), the guy just made a reservation for us at a swanky restaurant (Eddie V's Prime Seafood) and gave us his credit card.

It was delicious and awesome and very expensive.  And though it felt a little dirty, because we don't exactly love pharmaceutical companies and their representatives, it was the nicest dinner we have been to since our honeymoon.  And so, we were thankful for a free, fancy date night.  Though, we did avoid the drug reps for the rest of the weekend.

This was part of the view from our hotel room - a rooftop pool at our hotel.  I actually didn't spend as much time by it as I had hoped to, but it was nice and relaxing anyways!

I got to see my favorite life-long friend, Hannah!  She picked me up on Saturday and we went to lunch at a place called Datz.  It was delicious and really fun inside.  And it was just awesome to catch up on her life - she got married in August and moved far way to Tampa, and we haven't seen each other since!  I would have been so happy to just sit on a bench and talk all afternoon, but she was kind enough to feed me and my growing baby ;).  She also took me tie shopping for Stuart, as we discovered pretty quickly that SGO is a rather fancy conference, and Stuart was just a smidge underdressed (as was I, but I didn't have to spend as much time with important people as he did).

Saturday night was the UNC alumni event, where everyone who ever had a role at UNC gathered in a room at the hotel and had drinks.  We knew most of the folks here, but got to meet some new faces who either did their residency or fellowship at UNC years ago, and are now very important at other places.  We left feeling reminded how grateful we are to be at UNC and part of the community that has formed over decades in the department.  We were actually headed out the door with some residents and an attending (who were headed for drinks, but we were secretly headed to our hotel for sleep!) when this lady whizzes by us in the lobby and says "Come up to see the President!"  The attending turns around and says, "Change of plans - you don't turn this down."  So we find ourselves packed into an elevator with this lady and lots of drunk people and a professional photographer was taking our picture (?).  We got off on the top floor, and as we're walking down the hallway, Stuart grabs my hand and whispers "I don't know where we are going or which country's President we are about to meet, but everything will be okay!"

We walk into the Presidential Suite, where it just happens to be a private party for the President of SGO, Dr. Barbara Goff  (who, believe me, is a big, huge deal, but I was a little disappointed it wasn't Obama).  All of the important people were in this room, and here walk in a group of residents and an attending from UNC.  We had a great time chatting and relaxing on her balcony (and eating her delicious food).  We learned later that the lady who whizzed by us in the lobby was Mary Eiken, SGO's executive director.  We spent a lot of time talking to her between various events and learned that she is an onc nurse (like me!) and really a lot of fun.  I'm glad we got to know her a little - not just because she's important, but we genuinely like her.  In fact, we genuinely liked all of the important people we met.  A lot.  My husband has chosen a wonderful specialty and I'm excited to become more a part of it!

I borrowed two books from my BFF, Casey: Midwives by Chris Bohjalian and Running Scared by Edward Welch.  One to enjoy, and one to make me think.  And they were both excellent.  Between the airport and time by the pool, both were read cover to cover by the time we touched back down in Durham. (This is a noteworthy piece of information to include in my little blog diary here, because I never get to read, and I love reading, so I will celebrate two books in one weekend!)

Above are some palm trees.  They're everywhere, obviously because it's Florida.  Below is some grass, which is not everywhere, obviously because it's Florida.  In fact, the photo below is of a public garden on the riverfront that had big signs and lots of advertising drawing you in to come and see.  But it contained only grass and a few bushes.  I guess they were really proud that they could grow some grass.

Sunday night was SGO's big fundraiser event, so we dressed up pretty fancy and had a great time!  I wish I had taken more photos because it was 1960s themed (well, Mad Men themed to be specific) and it was really fun!  We spent a good deal of time with our own residents, and that was really fun.  We also had the opportunity to meet James and Vicki Orr, who started an endowment for uterine cancer research with SGO.  Vicki's mother was treated at UAMS for uterine cancer years ago, and so we really wanted a chance to talk to them.  Turns out so did everyone else at the fundraiser, but we waited patiently and had a moment to slip in and say hello.  It was very cool to connect with some important and really nice folks from Arkansas!

Monday morning, my dear friend Ashley picked me up from our hotel and drove us to the bayfront for a stroller walk with her sweet 8 week old.  Then, we had doughnuts and coffee.  A perfect outing!

It was so precious to see her as a mama with her babe and catch up on the huge way that becoming a mother changes everything (for both of us, actually!  We have not seen each other since before James was born.).  Ashley's husband, Garrett, was in Stuart's med school class, and they were some of our dearest friends in Little Rock.  They're in Tampa now as Garrett works on his dermatology residency.  We had a really sweet time of catching up.

Monday afternoon, Stuart skipped out on a few sessions and we took a nap (turns out that schmoozing around all day and night is exhausting for a young doctor, especially if you started out post-call).  We figured Monday night would be pretty low key since there wasn't a specific planned event for the evening.  I met Stuart near the convention center after the conference sessions wrapped up, and we were deciding what to do about dinner with some of his residents and fellows.  Of course, an attending jumped in to save the evening again.  He took us with him to crash another alumni dinner that was going on that night - a combination dinner for WashU and OSU.  Later in the evening, some folks from Duke joined the party, and then some folks from UAB, and then the President of SGO and her posse walked in!  By this time we had met most everyone, so it was fun to touch base and network a little more (networking is so hard and uncomfortable for me, but this evening was more fun and relaxed since we had met everyone).  We figured we would just go for a few minutes, and then go get dinner on our own.  We ended up staying all night, and actually got to bed the latest the entire weekend!

We slept in on Tuesday and ordered room service for breakfast (so fun)!  Stuart went to the conference for the last session, then we took a shuttle back to the airport and flew home!  As you can tell, most of the action took place during the evenings (and into late night).  Sounds like Stuart spent most of the day listening to research presentations, and drinking coffee in between sessions with all the folks we met throughout the weekend (both of which, of course, he loved).  Some of those sessions actually included research that Stuart worked on, and a few of them he was first author (I'll brag, even though he won't).  He had four abstracts at this conference, and I am so proud of him!

There's one detail that I didn't mention about this trip, though I'm sure you gathered from all that we did while in Tampa:  James stayed behind in NC with my parents!  For five days and four nights, I didn't get to see or snuggle or kiss or pray with my baby and it made my heart ache!  It was so sweet to come home to him.  James, of course, had a great time at my parents' house, playing with my dad and looking at the dogs (two of his favorite activities in life right now).  It sort of seemed like he didn't realize we were gone until we got home.  So, I'm glad he wasn't as sad as I was ;)  It turned out to be a really great weekend, and I'm so thankful that I had some time to be an adult and stand by Stuart's side during such an important event for him - as his wife, not as a mama - and I would very happily do it again.  However, I was very happy to see my baby boy and be home!